A Beautiful Nightmare

She was wearing the color red, a big smile on her lips. She took a swirl, put her hands in the air swaying them to the music playing. They had chosen the music together. The walk down the aisle made her feel like a princess. All eyes turned towards her, little children looking at her with awestruck eyes, running towards her. A tear or two in the corner of her mother’s eyes. A look of contentment on her father’s face. Love in his eyes. The sounds of laughter in her eyes. The aroma of delicious food filling her nostrils. Butterflies playing hide and seek in her stomach.

It was her big day. The day she had always dreamt of. A fairy tale wedding was what she had always wanted and this felt no less. She was the princess and he, her princess. A tale they had woven together that they could talk of to their grandchildren. He took her hand and took her to the stage. Together they sat before the fire God taking their vows, holding hands, love filled their hearts. The smile never left her face. Her eyes brighter than the shining lights around. She could not get enough of all the blessings and compliments that the guests were showering on them. They were all so happy. She had ultimately got what she had wanted for all those years they were together. All the efforts they had put in , all they turbulence they had faced , hand in hand.

It was all perfect.

And then her eyes popped open. The wooden floor hurt her back. Alcohol made her feel dizzy. The stench in the house was nauseating. She looked at her bare hands and searched for the red bangles. She touched her hair and tried to feel the vermillion .She looked around to see an empty house with no guests smiling at her. There were no lights, only unending darkness. There was no smile on her lips, only the feel of dried tears in on her cheeks. No red dress, just a red dress he had gifted her years back, she wanted to throw it away. The feel of it sickened her. The feel of anything belonging to him sickened her.

For all these years, all she had wanted was to be with him. To love him. To hold him and to be held by him. It was astonishing how her want had changed, How she wanted just the opposite now. Her heart felt limp as if it had been taken out. Her body felt tired. She had not eaten for hours and yet hunger was nowhere close to her. Love was a strong emotion, she thought, hate was stronger, she now realized.

He had left. Without a reason. Without looking back. Without thinking of her. Everything was not hunky dory, she knew, but she had still wanted to stay on it. But he had left. Gone.

It had all been a dream. A bad dream. Nightmare.

The Impossibility of a Possibility

The box was small. She could easily fit in .But she was trapped. She tried coming out but it wouldn’t open. She tried banging on to it asking for help. No one came. Getting into it was her decision. Adventure was what she looked for, now it had trapped her with nowhere to go. She had no choice left than to accept the situation and keep waiting to get out of there.

The environment inside was comfortable. She sat cross legged and took a deep breath. The box was colored she saw, with some of the most beautiful combinations. They uplifted her mood. She touched the surface. It was smooth and she wanted to keep touching it and so she did. There were little birds drawn on the walls. They kept telling her she would fly like them. One day. One day she would escape and she would be out there, free and above the rest of the world. The floor of the box was soft and she could comfortably sit there. There was silence and peace in the air. She could hum her favorite songs and sing them out loudly. The box would give her perfect company.

She felt their rhythm matched. They were so much at peace with each other. One perfectly accommodating the other. The trap didn’t feel a trap anymore. It felt the perfect place to be in. She was loving the place. The thought of what would happen later didn’t bother her. All that mattered was the perfect time that she was having. The impossibility of being stuck in it didn’t strike her. She wanted to build her world inside. To stay there away from the worldly beasts. In the arms of the box she could feel solitude and contentment. Complete, is what she felt. She had been yearning for this space since a very long time. Away from the chaos, away from the struggles, strength is what she felt. Leaving didn’t seem attractive, staying did. And she knew she would have to go. She prayed to let her be there. She tried not to make any noise lest someone come and set her free. The loneliness felt a boon, the company of many a bane. She recoiled at the idea of going back to the world. The place seemed so much hers. Made for her. Perfect.

She heard footsteps coming towards box. Someone had come and unlatched it. Was calling out to her to come out. She dreaded leaving. Did not want to come out. She kept sitting there and someone called out again, this time in a louder voice and she rushed outside.

The box had been her hideout since childhood. The impossibility of the possibility of being trapped had always attracted her.