It's a girly thing...!!!

               You look at her and she smiles back at you.She looks gorgeous in her black dress and loose hair.Her smile brightens her face and her vivaciousness drives you crazy.But somehow the same does not reflect in her eyes.Is she sad? Is she happy? Well you are confused. And you go by the look on her face.She converses with you like routine and you would never understand what is going on inside her.

            That's a girl for you.In one word I would describe them as 'Givers' . They give u life.They give you your first breath.They take care of you all your life in different roles but they would never let you in their inner world of demons. A girl would be fighting an emotional battle but she would still wake up every morning , get dressed to hide her fatigue and go out there in the world shining as bright as the sun and you would never know.Even though deep down she knows she will lose she will still go out their with a charm that will win her the world and you would never know. She might be facing a million problems but she would still listen to all of yours and give you a perfect advice and you would never know. She might be weeping inside but she would still come up with a smile to fool you and you would never know.

            The strength a woman holds inside her is immense and she can deal with all her emotions without letting anyone into it. No matter how difficult a situation comes her way she would stand upto it without a frown on her face and all people would know is that everything is hunky dory.

She would do anything to make you happy even if it takes her all her strength to stand there before you and fake a convincing smile and stop a tear. People assume women cry because they are weak but that is not what the truth is. The truth in fact is that women let out their pain and anguish in the form of water so that they can stand up to the situation more boldly and defeat it.Her life may have gone through a lot of hurdles but she would never let you know.She may have done things for others' happiness ignoring her own but she would still continue to do that. She may be hurt but when you apologize she would still feel bad that you have to say sorry. She will forgive and forget even though you don't. She will be the first to extend the olive branch.

              She may hate football but she'l still watch it for you. And she'l eat your choice of food too.

She'l do everything it takes to keep you happy which sometimes may ask for letting herself down, which is not the right thing to do but she would still anyway do it. She'l be nice to you even when you are being a jerk and accomodate you in every possible way.

            Closed, calm ,composed ,selfless.............that's a girl!!!

And all you can do is try...

                When life gives you lemons,  make lemonade. And what if the lemons are all dried up? What if you squeeze and squeeze and squeeze more but no juice comes out? What then? Should you just sit back and keep collecting the lemons or should you let life throw more and try each one of them with the hope that at least one will give some juice? Or should you wait for life to get tired of pestering you and find a new target?

                Problems will come. And you have to face them. There is no way out. The manner in which you face them is left to you. You can battle them with your armor on or get tortured and beg for mercy. You can be brave and help others as well or be tame and keep hiding.  But life would not be impressed by your valor, it would still keep whipping you with all its might. And all you could do is bear the thrashing or catch hold of the whip and strike back.

                To see the long and short of it, life will throw innumerable lemons or for that matter rotten eggs as well and you can either dodge them or put them to good use. Because you do not have an option to choose , you do not get to choose your problems , the timing of your problems or the intensity of your problems. So all you can do is stand upright against them and face them like a strong rigid wall. And if life got so overconfident as to give you a follow on like the once mighty Australians gave the Indians, you could still fight and beat them with your centuries and double centuries. So much so that it would have to think twice before giving you another follow on for a long long time. The only way out is to stay strong, have self belief and faith in yourself to come out of the big mess you are in. Come on, after all you have to  start somewhere even when you start cleaning your room. You  need to be calm and composed and focused because  to come out of the cage life has pushed you in before getting eaten up.

                Its all about self belief, courage and willingness to do something for yourself. For it is you and only you who can make your days bright or your nights gloomy. It is you who decide how to lead your life. Taking the whipping or thrashing back. Coming out untouched or bruised. Fighting your case or having no defense. It is you who have to throw all the problems coming running towards you out of the ring and emerge the winner of the royal rumble organized by life.

 Life is a mighty force. Cruel and unforgiving. To come out against it is like  clearing six backlogs in one go. Difficult but not impossible. No assured results but all you can do is try.

Let go...

Of the frown on your face
Let go...
Of the sadness in your heart
Let go..
Of the noises in your head
Let go...
Of the tears in your eyes
Let go...
Of the thoughts troubling you
Let go...
Of the things amiss
Let go...
Of the things holding u back
Let go...
Of the strings attached
Let go...

Lost...

Walking  down the street,

Treading a path well known,

Throngs of people walking past me,

And yet all I feel is ‘LOST’

                It is  all dark and gloomy. I do not feel sleep in my eyes and yet all I sense is darkness and haze. Vivid noises make their way to my ears and I instantly put my hands to my ears to stop them.I feel the presence of other beings around  me and I know I am not alone where I am but I do not know where I am .I am caught .I am stuck.  I am alone. I am Lost.

                It is a feeling of the subconscious mind. You can be there with a thousand people and still not listen to one. You can listen to a hundred voices and still not recognize one. You can be talking to people around you and still not be a part of the conversation. You can be taught multiple times and still not understand concepts. You can be having fun with friends and still be sad in the heart. You can smile and be happy and still feel guilty of that smile.

                It  feels like I am all alone in a crowd. I am here, I  exist here but I am unaware of my existence. I want to run away from where I am and I do not know my destination. There is no connection, not only with other people but also with myself. I do not understand the reason for my actions and when I ponder over it I do not remember the circumstances the action was executed. People say I am not me but I have forgotten who was me or how was me. I am striving to catch up with life and failing constantly. The time is running by and I am still stuck up in a time which is long gone by. Life is mocking at me and I am watching helplessly with tears in my eyes. I am struggling to find my way but I am lost on a path already travelled .

                I wish I could come out of this. I wish I could point a finger at life and say ,“Dude you can’t confuse me.” I wish I could get a hold on myself. I wish I could come back to light. I wish I was missing instead of being lost. Because missing is when people cannot find you but being lost is when you cannot find yourself. And I am Lost.

A Dried Rose Tells a Long Tale....

          Flipping through the pages if my diary, the sound of rain drops pattering against the window pane ,a mug of  hot coffee in my hand  I come across a dried rose concealed safely between the pages of the big fat book filled with excerpts from my life. The rose finds its place in the book as it is a part of my life  and I keep it safely just as all those memories poured into the book.If the book were a pensieve,the rose would invoke a memory of great prominence.
       The dried rose,as I hold it delicately so as to not crumble the pieces and destroy a memory tells me a long forgotten tale.A tale which had taken a back seat as other things had crowded my mind.But one look at the rose brings a rush of all those memories,the smiles associated with it,the feelings evoked in receiving it and the prominence of he occasion.
The other memory that immediately gushes into my mind is that of the long forgotten promise of a better future,the pain of putting all those happy times to rest,the efforts I took to focus my mind on other less important things.
    It reminds me of my struggle to survive,my struggle to not give up,the strength to not let myself crumble to pieces,to pick up myself although bruised,to walk all those miles to cross the line of defeat and win,the zeal it took me to put on a smile on those lips and a stop in those tears,the efforts I took to fund happiness when there was none on the horizon.
       As tears dwell into my eyes ,the thought of crumbling it to pieces races through my mind and I have a strong urge to destroy it,to destroy the part of my life which I want to go back and change. But then another thought makes me decide otherwise,it would be foolish to destroy something that once upon a time gave me happiness,the memory of which brought a smile on my lips once again.The memories which give me strength ,the memories which show me the mirror and tell me that I can now face anything that comes my way .
       And then I place the rose safely back between the pages .How could I destroy the dries rose that tells me a tale...the dried rose that tells me my tale.

Choose to be Happy..

                        Writing after ages....Huhh ..how much have i missed it.Being away from writing was like being away from my biggest stress buster.So while I was away , I tried my hand at analyzing life... trying to understand it..and of course did what everyone does..facebooking.....
                        The innumerable images on facebook talking about how you should be living your life,how to survive and how to be happy do make you ponder over your strategies of handling your own life.
Evey other image talks of making the right decisions and choosing to be happy which makes me wonder ..Who on earth,if given a choice would choose not to be Happy!!
                      Well,it happens rarely that one gets an option to make his choices.The choices we make are predominantly controlled by our situations,others' situations and what is right and what is not.The thought of not doing the right thing and having to bear the flak for that controls our decisions most of the times.Then there is the guilt of upsetting our near and dear ones with our decisions that could make us happy and not them .And since we all are so busy trying to be the angel on earth,bringing smiles on others' faces,doing something that they wouldn't like is out of question.So that closes another door for choosing your happiness.
                       If at all you survive these two cases then you would be having to fight some inner battles,others' inner battles,multiple rounds of convincing people and analyzing all the potential benefits of your decision before you could finally choose to be happy.And in my opinion ,after all these efforts you are so bugged up with  it that happiness comes but little.
                       Choosing to be happy is not overburdening and stressing yourself to reach happiness.Just as those images speak ,I wish the choice was so simple.You could make the choices that made you smile.You could walk the path you found greener and not worry about safety.You could grab a large cheesy pizza with a bottle of beer and not think about putting on weight.You could travel tripsy and not be thinking about geting caught.You could pour your heart out and not be worried about being judged.You could watch a late night movie,sleep late and not worry about office the next day.
                     Well,how many of us can make these choices without another thought.When such small and simple choices for momentary happiness don't come easily...just imagine how difficult the bigger ones would be!!!